


Alone

by SeptemberCrypt



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, JUST, Other, Poor Bucky, Unrequited Love, Why do I do this, and sad bucky, bucky/sam if you squint, but still feelings, endgame spoilers, nope - Freeform, not a fix-it fic, not even really a relationship, this movie tore my heart and soul out, why do you do this, why marvel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 05:53:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18910888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeptemberCrypt/pseuds/SeptemberCrypt
Summary: Even when Bucky had nothing, he had Steve. But now, he doesn't even have that anymore.





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goneandbackagain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goneandbackagain/gifts).



> sorry in advance

All things come to an end. Every story, every era, every lifetime. Nothing is forever, except perhaps the inevitability of conclusion. Bucky knew this, he always knew it. Sitting by Steve’s bedside, watching his lungs struggle to work, sure that _this time_ was finally the last. And he was overcome with disbelief and relief every time Steve managed to pull through, again and again. He never stopped fighting, not for one moment.

If Steve was anything—supersoldier, Captain America, hero, Avenger—he was a _fighter_. Even as a skinny punk kid, he fought with everything he had for what he believed. For what was right and just. He fought and fought, and then he’d come back home with bruises blooming on his face and blood dripping from his broken nose and Bucky would clean him up. Even though he kept getting beaten down, he always got back up. He always kept on fighting. Even when the universe would _scream_ at him that he couldn’t do it, that he wasn’t enough, he would try anyways.

That was just how Steve was. The world would try to bend him into something else, move around him, _change_ him, but Steve was an unmovable force. He would plant his feet in the dirt and stand tall and firm, and face whatever came his way. He was the strongest person Bucky had ever known. Not just as Captain America, no. He was strong before that. Captain America was strong, but Steve Rogers was stronger.

That kid who faced death every winter, who could barely stand on his own two legs half of the year, but still got back up every time. He was strong, and Bucky always wanted to be just like him. Even when he had to look down at Steve, he always _looked up_ to him. He was Bucky’s hero before he was the world’s.

Which was why he never expected Steve to give it up. He never thought that the day would come when that spark, that _fire_ that burned in Steve’s eyes would finally flicker out. But it did. And that was when Bucky knew it was over, that Steve was done. So many years of fighting, of being strong—not even Steve could go on forever. All things come to an end. Even Steve.

He’d known Steve wasn’t coming back. He probably knew it before Steve himself did. He saw it in Steve’s face, the exhaustion in his eyes, the downturn of his lips, the slump of his shoulders. He was so very tired. And Bucky couldn’t blame him for that—he could never blame Steve for that. He had every right to be tired.

But as much as he hated it, Bucky couldn’t help feeling hurt. He knew that Steve would never, _never_ hurt him on purpose, and that for once, Steve deserved to be happy. He deserved to finally be able to rest in the life he always wanted.

That life simply didn’t have Bucky in it.

And god, did that hurt. It hurt like nothing else. He didn’t want to be angry at Steve, and he had _no right_ to be. But he was. _He left me behind,_ he thought. _He lived his life and he left me behind._ He knew it wasn’t Steve’s intention. No, Steve was too good to hurt him so much on purpose. Knowing Steve, he probably figured that Bucky just didn’t need him anymore. That couldn’t be further from the truth, though. _I need you, Steve. I’ve always needed you._

But Steve didn’t need Bucky. Not anymore. He didn’t need Bucky to dress his wounds or make him soup. He didn’t need Bucky to save him when he picked a fight he couldn’t handle alone. He didn’t need Bucky to be the only person in the world who believed in him—the whole universe believed in Steve, now. Steve didn’t need him, and he never would again.

Margaret Carter. Peggy. Steve’s north star. She was always the one for him. Once Steve found her there simply wasn’t any room for Bucky anymore. She took up his whole mind, his whole heart. She filled him completely and Bucky could never compare. And she was good for him—she was _perfect_. Every time he talked about her it was as if his eyes lit up from the inside. He loved her wholly.

And he was happy that Steve finally got her. He was so happy. She was his girl and he got the life he always wanted with her. She was his everything. Just like Steve was Bucky’s.

“ _I’m with you ‘till the end of the line.”_ Those words rang hollow, now. Because there it is. The end of the line. And Steve left. Steve wouldn’t be there for Bucky anymore. He got his happy ending but Bucky was left behind shattered.

His mind was broken, and his body mutilated. He lifted up his left hand, the metal glittering in the sunlight. Even if he never got captured, used, tortured. Even if his body was perfect. He never would have been enough for Steve. Bucky _never_ deserved him, and he was lucky he had him for as long as he did.

He was always meant to be alone.

A body suddenly sits itself on the bench next to him, silent. The same bench Steve sat upon yesterday—old and worn and happy. The fire was gone in his eyes, but not that light. Nothing could extinguish that. Bucky turned his head, seeing Sam looking out over the water.

Sam Wilson. The new Captain America. The perfect man to carry on Steve’s legacy. He reminded Bucky of Steve in a lot of ways, actually. His bravery, his selflessness, his _goodness_. If there was anyone who could live up to the Captain America name, it was Sam.

“Did you know he wasn’t coming back?” Sam questioned, keeping his eyes forward.

Bucky just nodded. He knew. Of course he knew. He wasn’t enough to make Steve want to stay. Not when there was a chance he could be with Peggy again.

Sam finally looked to Bucky then, “You gonna miss him?”

“Like hell,” _‘Till the end of the line._ But, as he looked at Sam, he felt something long dead flicker inside of him. It was the end for Steve and Bucky, but that didn’t mean something new wouldn’t now be born. He looked at Sam, and he saw a thousand new futures. _I am not alone._

**Author's Note:**

> let me know if you spot any mistakes. my ADD makes proofreading near impossible.


End file.
